I was born into chaos. Violence, neglect, mistakes carved themselves into me before I could speak. My childhood was dark. For years I thought it had already decided my fate. I believed scars were destiny.
That illusion broke when I left my country at twenty one. I walked to a small hotel with eighty euros in my pocket. Enough to survive a month if I chose carefully. That was the first time life was fully mine. No one to blame. No one to save me. Just me and the weight of choice.
An older friend I knew only through an online game became a second mother. She gave me Eckhart Tolle’s Power of Now. It said what I had never heard before. Stop feeding the past. Stop circling pain. The only place you can change anything is here, now. When I began to live this way, the world around me shifted. Pain did not vanish. But it no longer ruled my sight. A coworker asked me to try American football. I said yes. That single step opened another door.
In 2020 I planted the seed of silence. I moved to Finland. The land of forests and long winters. A place of introverts, where life is about what you do, not what you show. I found peace there. I found community. I met a family who took care of children from broken homes. They invited me into their life, gave me meals, welcomed me at birthdays. I helped with their house, simple work, nothing more. But through them I finally saw what a real family means. That seed still grows inside me.
Now I live as a partner and a stepfather. Their father is gone. I knew this was my chance to stand where my own father never stood. He left when I was a year old. When I saw him again at eight, he was already a stranger. So I made a vow. To give these boys the opposite. Time instead of absence. Memories instead of emptiness. They are mirrors. One is a dreamer, lost in his own worlds. The other is logical and fiery, struggling with emotions. In both I see myself. My task is clear. Teach one to shape his visions. Teach the other to master his fire. It is not easy. I never had such a guide. But my partner teaches me empathy and love I once closed away. She shows me what I never learned as a child.
Discipline holds me steady. Every morning I ask why I live. I remind myself of the path. I water the flowers I have already planted. The gym became a teacher when my body was exhausted and I wanted to quit. Quitting video games became another. Exchanging escape for creation. Silence, fasting, meditation, writing. None of them perfect. Neither am I. But perfectionism is poison. You grow by continuing, not by waiting for flawless moments.
Along this path I met teachers. Tolle woke me from the past. Jung showed me the shadow. He taught me not to destroy it but to accept it. Alan Watts reminded me of flow. The Hermetic writings opened me to symbols. I fought my shadow for years. I tried to chain it. Only when I embraced it did I feel whole. In that moment a symbol appeared to me. I later drew it. It is my compass. My shield. My fire. When anger or instability rise, I see it burning. It calls me back to honor.
In May 2025 I found a brotherhood. For months I had been drowning in myself, repeating the same cycles even with rituals and silence. This brotherhood became a mirror. It showed me my values clearly. It forced me to reflect. It gave me ground to stand on. It opened my eyes.
ThySilentPath was born from that fire. This project is not only my journal. It is a way to serve. To give back to the brotherhood that helped me. To help those who may find these words and choose to join the climb.
This journal is not advice. Not a manual. It is scars and lessons and steps forward. If you read these words at two in the morning, tired and lost, know this. You are not alone. Even if you feel like a lone wolf, exhausted, there are others walking. There is one path worth taking. Find the right people. Climb. Do not wander the flatlands forever.
I write for the younger version of myself. For people who have seen chaos. For those who crave discipline. For anyone who wants change and does not yet know how. Not for those who must be convinced. For those who are already ready to take another step.
If ThySilentPath had one law, it would be this.
You either walk the road that rises upward. Or you stay on the plains where nothing grows. - ThySilentPath
With Respect,
D